In the last part, two sisters, one who says she had good hair and the other who says she has bad hair, discuss their feelings toward the topic as well as each other. The one with the "good hair", makes fun of her sister for having "bad hair", because she was made fun of for her hair when she was younger. This shows how when one person feels insecure, they put their negativity onto another person, and it continues to grow. This is how colorism continues to travel. The girl whose mother felt ashamed because her hair was short was very brave for even going up there. I know it must have hurt her to know that her mother didn't support her decision. I congratulate Essence Magazine for keeping up the good work with their Black is Beautiful Campaign, the episode came out a few years ago, and they are continuing to expand with their campaign, which is wonderful.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
"Good Hair" vs. "Bad Hair" (Part 3)
Continuing on with the topic of "good hair" vs. "bad hair", I would like to discuss the last two parts of the episode on the Tyra Banks show, (Courtesy of Megami284 and the Tyra Banks show)
In part 4, Tyra asks each one of the little girls how they feel about their hair. It made me sad when I heard what the first girl had to say about her hair. She thought she had bad hair, and said she only felt beautiful when she wore her Hannah Montana wig. This was devastating to hear, because I thought about all the other little black girls with kinky hair, and how they must feel about their hair, especially in today's society where it is condemned. The second little girl was clearly brainwashed by her mother, based on the experiences she went through as a child, so I don't blame her for what she said, but it was still pretty hurtful. The third little girl seemed to dislike relaxers and weaves altogether, but continued to get them because that's what her mom wanted. Her mom claimed she just wanted her hair to look nice. Here's the thing with that, what she said, could be misinterpreted as something else. "Nice", could mean more like her mother's hair. They are other ways to make someone's hair look nice without the relaxers and weaves, it just makes it harder to manage their hair. I understand the fact that her mother puts in relaxers and perms to save time, but maybe she should take a break every now and then, it wouldn't hurt (no pun intended). The last little girl looks too young to fully understand what's really going on, but what she does understand is that she has to get a relaxer to make her hair straighter. It hurts, but the result pleases her mother, and makes her happy as well.
In the last part, two sisters, one who says she had good hair and the other who says she has bad hair, discuss their feelings toward the topic as well as each other. The one with the "good hair", makes fun of her sister for having "bad hair", because she was made fun of for her hair when she was younger. This shows how when one person feels insecure, they put their negativity onto another person, and it continues to grow. This is how colorism continues to travel. The girl whose mother felt ashamed because her hair was short was very brave for even going up there. I know it must have hurt her to know that her mother didn't support her decision. I congratulate Essence Magazine for keeping up the good work with their Black is Beautiful Campaign, the episode came out a few years ago, and they are continuing to expand with their campaign, which is wonderful.
In the last part, two sisters, one who says she had good hair and the other who says she has bad hair, discuss their feelings toward the topic as well as each other. The one with the "good hair", makes fun of her sister for having "bad hair", because she was made fun of for her hair when she was younger. This shows how when one person feels insecure, they put their negativity onto another person, and it continues to grow. This is how colorism continues to travel. The girl whose mother felt ashamed because her hair was short was very brave for even going up there. I know it must have hurt her to know that her mother didn't support her decision. I congratulate Essence Magazine for keeping up the good work with their Black is Beautiful Campaign, the episode came out a few years ago, and they are continuing to expand with their campaign, which is wonderful.
Monday, May 13, 2013
"Good Hair" vs. "Bad Hair" (Part 2)
Part 2 of the topic good hair vs. bad hair will be accompanied by clips from the Tyra Banks show, to give you all an insight on what actual people who deal with this situation have to say. If you have a little time, please watch all five parts. This episode is highly educational. The last two parts are in the next blog entry.
(Courtesy of Megami284 and the Tyra Banks Show)
Let's break down each part. In the first part, the ladies were discussing natural hair vs. processed hair. I was shocked to discover how much money could be spent on hair, when added up throughout the years. The first girl said she spent $20,000 on hair products, she does not wear her natural hair. One girl claimed she had "good hair", because she had that "white girl flow". To me, this is so ignorant because it means you have to change your appearance in order to feel like you fit in. Straight, relaxed hair is more acceptable in today's society because it is considered 'tamed'. Notice how the girls with the processed hair, are using the word 'nappy'. This word was used in the old days to insult African Americans and make them feel bad about their hair. Now we are using it to describe ourselves. (Please refer back to one of my older posts where I used a quote from a book titled The Miseducation of the Negro. The entry is titled "The Slave Mentality (Part 1) The quote perfectly explains this situation.)
Parts 2 and 3, discuss the topic from a child's point of view. I love getting a child's opinion because I know for sure that they'll be the ones to tell it like it is. What bothered me most, was how the little girls were so young, but knew so much.They were introduced to relaxers, weaves, and the terms 'good hair', and 'bad hair', at such a young age. I know what it's like, and it takes an emotional, as well as a mental toll on you. At the end of part 3, Tyra brought Ayana Byrd and Lori Tharps, who are the authors of the book titled, Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America. I love how they were able to tell us where the terms "good hair" and "bad hair" came about, and what they signified, which was survival.
I got my first relaxer when I was seven years old, so I know firsthand what the little girls in the videos are going through. At the time, I didn't realize what was really going on, as far as my hair being straighten, but as I got older I began to understand what the relaxer was really doing to me. It wasn't just straightening my hair, It was changing the way I saw hair in general. I remember looking in the mirror as a child, and thinking to myself " what if my hair was really this straight? Then I wouldn't have to get a relaxer at all, and it would be easier for my mom to do my hair". This was the beginning of me not accepting the hair I was given. I didn't like the pain of the relaxers, but the way my hair looked afterwards made it all worth it. I was so happy to look in the mirror with straight hair, and edges that laid down. I also began putting braids in my hair from time to time, and eventually tracks. All for the sake of looking like I had "good hair", which in my mind at the time, was long straight hair. I only tried out tracks a couple of times, but throughout the years it was mainly relaxers and braids, these two combined, slowly began to take my hair out, I was devastated, but kept going back to the relaxers until one day, I had had enough, and decided to go natural.
I'll discuss more on natural vs. processed hair in the upcoming weeks. In the meantime, please look for part 3 of this topic where I will put up the last two parts of the video, and talk more about "good hair" vs. "bad hair".
(Courtesy of Megami284 and the Tyra Banks Show)
Parts 2 and 3, discuss the topic from a child's point of view. I love getting a child's opinion because I know for sure that they'll be the ones to tell it like it is. What bothered me most, was how the little girls were so young, but knew so much.They were introduced to relaxers, weaves, and the terms 'good hair', and 'bad hair', at such a young age. I know what it's like, and it takes an emotional, as well as a mental toll on you. At the end of part 3, Tyra brought Ayana Byrd and Lori Tharps, who are the authors of the book titled, Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America. I love how they were able to tell us where the terms "good hair" and "bad hair" came about, and what they signified, which was survival.
I got my first relaxer when I was seven years old, so I know firsthand what the little girls in the videos are going through. At the time, I didn't realize what was really going on, as far as my hair being straighten, but as I got older I began to understand what the relaxer was really doing to me. It wasn't just straightening my hair, It was changing the way I saw hair in general. I remember looking in the mirror as a child, and thinking to myself " what if my hair was really this straight? Then I wouldn't have to get a relaxer at all, and it would be easier for my mom to do my hair". This was the beginning of me not accepting the hair I was given. I didn't like the pain of the relaxers, but the way my hair looked afterwards made it all worth it. I was so happy to look in the mirror with straight hair, and edges that laid down. I also began putting braids in my hair from time to time, and eventually tracks. All for the sake of looking like I had "good hair", which in my mind at the time, was long straight hair. I only tried out tracks a couple of times, but throughout the years it was mainly relaxers and braids, these two combined, slowly began to take my hair out, I was devastated, but kept going back to the relaxers until one day, I had had enough, and decided to go natural.
I'll discuss more on natural vs. processed hair in the upcoming weeks. In the meantime, please look for part 3 of this topic where I will put up the last two parts of the video, and talk more about "good hair" vs. "bad hair".
Thursday, May 2, 2013
"Good Hair" vs. "Bad Hair" (Part 1)
For those of you who aren't familiar with the terms "good hair" and "bad hair", allow me to explain. In the black community, those who have long, straight hair, are said to have "good hair", while those who have thick, kinky hair are said to have "bad hair". The term that is often used to describe "bad hair" is 'nappy', but I personally strongly dislike the word, so I won't be using it.
The whole topic of good hair and bad hair go all the way back to the days of slavery, when the texture of hair you were born with, came into direct correlation with your social status. Those with straight hair, obviously weren't fully African, and so were looked at differently. In 1988, writer, producer, and director, Spike Lee, came out with a movie titled School Daze, which addressed the issue of colorism at a historically black university. There was a particular scene where the girls had confronted each other and began calling each other derogatory names. It was mostly light skin vs. dark skin, but I noticed that some light skinned girls were siding with the dark skinned girls, and vice versa. At that point, I realized that it had to be about hair, why else would there be one or two light skinned girls siding with the dark skinned girls and vice versa? Check out the clip here, (Courtesy of ItaltW92).
Although this movie came out in 1988, it's funny to me how it is so accurate. When I was in high school, one of the main topics we discussed was hair. I guess it's because we spent so much time on it. If your 'kitchen' (the very back of your hair) was 'nappy' as they would say, then you would get called out. If you were all natural, they'd laugh and tell you to get a relaxer (chemicals that straighten your hair). If your hair was short, they would call you 'bald headed'. The only time they wouldn't comment on your hair was if you had braids, weaves, or tracks, because that was the only time you weren't walking around with your real hair.
I will discuss more on hair in the black community over the next few days, I apologize for the week and a half hiatus, in the meantime, feel free to send me thoughts or stories in a direct message on twitter if you'd like about the topic of good hair vs. bad hair. I would love to hear what others have to say, everything will remain confidential unless you'd like me to share it. In order to direct message me on twitter, follow me and I'll follow back. My twitter name is @Kidatheart96. Can't wait to discuss the topic in depth.
The whole topic of good hair and bad hair go all the way back to the days of slavery, when the texture of hair you were born with, came into direct correlation with your social status. Those with straight hair, obviously weren't fully African, and so were looked at differently. In 1988, writer, producer, and director, Spike Lee, came out with a movie titled School Daze, which addressed the issue of colorism at a historically black university. There was a particular scene where the girls had confronted each other and began calling each other derogatory names. It was mostly light skin vs. dark skin, but I noticed that some light skinned girls were siding with the dark skinned girls, and vice versa. At that point, I realized that it had to be about hair, why else would there be one or two light skinned girls siding with the dark skinned girls and vice versa? Check out the clip here, (Courtesy of ItaltW92).
I will discuss more on hair in the black community over the next few days, I apologize for the week and a half hiatus, in the meantime, feel free to send me thoughts or stories in a direct message on twitter if you'd like about the topic of good hair vs. bad hair. I would love to hear what others have to say, everything will remain confidential unless you'd like me to share it. In order to direct message me on twitter, follow me and I'll follow back. My twitter name is @Kidatheart96. Can't wait to discuss the topic in depth.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
One For The Guys (More Misconceptions)
Many people may not know that colorism affects guys just as bad as it affects the girls. I did some more research, and found that light-skinned guys and dark-skinned guys tend to hash it out when it comes to misconceptions about each other such as being 'black enough', or 'man enough'.
You're Not Black Enough!
One misconception about light-skinned guys is that they are not black enough. Usually light-skinned guys are mixed, so the phrase 'not black enough' comes from them not being fully black, however, being light-skinned does not necessarily mean you are mixed. Being light-skinned creates a stigma that you are not in touch with black culture because you may not be, or look, fully black. This may be so, but in the eyes of the law, we are all considered black. Right?
You're Too Soft!
Another misconception about light-skinned guys is that they are weak, or too soft. Meaning, that they are very sensitive and open with their emotions. In today's world, when you are in touch with your feelings, you are unfortunately considered weak, and are therefore targeted because you are so vulnerable at times. People have begun to associate this guys who are light-skinned. Darker skinned guys are said to be tough, strong, and more manly. This misconception bothers me the most because who are we to determine whether a guy is weak or strong based on his skin color, and when did being in touch with your feelings become a bad thing?
You're Dirty!
Another misconception about dark-skinned guys is that they are dirty, or don't take care of themselves. This goes hand in hand with the fact that people associate light, with good, and dark, with bad. Society believes the darker you are, the more evil and dirty you look. This misconception is so sad to me, because the fact that society degrades people, and tells them they are dirty because of how dark their skin is, sickens me.
Out of Style
There is a saying in the black community that light-skinned guys go 'in and out of style'. Or some say it's vice versa. What this means is that there is a time period when girls find lighter skinned guys more attractive over darker skinned guys, or darker skinned guys more attractive over lighter skinned guys. It's basically relating the color complex to a fashion trend. One day certain clothing may not be as acceptable as it is today, but it'll eventually come back. This is the kind of mindset some people have when is comes down to deciding who is attractive at the time, based on skin color.
You're Not Black Enough!
One misconception about light-skinned guys is that they are not black enough. Usually light-skinned guys are mixed, so the phrase 'not black enough' comes from them not being fully black, however, being light-skinned does not necessarily mean you are mixed. Being light-skinned creates a stigma that you are not in touch with black culture because you may not be, or look, fully black. This may be so, but in the eyes of the law, we are all considered black. Right?
You're Too Soft!
Another misconception about light-skinned guys is that they are weak, or too soft. Meaning, that they are very sensitive and open with their emotions. In today's world, when you are in touch with your feelings, you are unfortunately considered weak, and are therefore targeted because you are so vulnerable at times. People have begun to associate this guys who are light-skinned. Darker skinned guys are said to be tough, strong, and more manly. This misconception bothers me the most because who are we to determine whether a guy is weak or strong based on his skin color, and when did being in touch with your feelings become a bad thing?
You're Dirty!
Another misconception about dark-skinned guys is that they are dirty, or don't take care of themselves. This goes hand in hand with the fact that people associate light, with good, and dark, with bad. Society believes the darker you are, the more evil and dirty you look. This misconception is so sad to me, because the fact that society degrades people, and tells them they are dirty because of how dark their skin is, sickens me.
Out of Style
There is a saying in the black community that light-skinned guys go 'in and out of style'. Or some say it's vice versa. What this means is that there is a time period when girls find lighter skinned guys more attractive over darker skinned guys, or darker skinned guys more attractive over lighter skinned guys. It's basically relating the color complex to a fashion trend. One day certain clothing may not be as acceptable as it is today, but it'll eventually come back. This is the kind of mindset some people have when is comes down to deciding who is attractive at the time, based on skin color.
Friday, April 12, 2013
ASAP Rocky
Recently, during an interview with The Coveteur, via Glamzons Blog, he talked about his daily beauty regimen, and gave some beauty tips for brown-skinned girls. Here is what he said:
“But for real, for me, I feel like with the red lipstick thing it all depends on the pair of complexion. I’m just being for real. You have to be fair skinned to get away with that.”
To me, this is absurd, seeing as red looks good on any skin tone. If you don't believe me, here are some beauty tips courtesy of www.glamazonsblog.com:
1. If you have a warm, golden undertone (think Gabrielle Union), reds with a yellow or brown base will work for you.2. If your skin is more cool and you have a red undertone (think Viola Davis) or blue undertone (think Alek Wek), deep reds with a blue base are your best bet.
3. If your skin is olive based (think Lauryn Hill), reds with a neutral undertone are the best way to go.
Bonus: If your lips are dark, dab some concealer on them to even out the tone before applying lipstick.
Here are some pictures of women of different shades wearing red lipstick:
As you can see, red lipstick doesn't look so bad ANY of these beautiful women.
“But for real, for me, I feel like with the red lipstick thing it all depends on the pair of complexion. I’m just being for real. You have to be fair skinned to get away with that.”
To me, this is absurd, seeing as red looks good on any skin tone. If you don't believe me, here are some beauty tips courtesy of www.glamazonsblog.com:
1. If you have a warm, golden undertone (think Gabrielle Union), reds with a yellow or brown base will work for you.2. If your skin is more cool and you have a red undertone (think Viola Davis) or blue undertone (think Alek Wek), deep reds with a blue base are your best bet.
3. If your skin is olive based (think Lauryn Hill), reds with a neutral undertone are the best way to go.
Bonus: If your lips are dark, dab some concealer on them to even out the tone before applying lipstick.
Here are some pictures of women of different shades wearing red lipstick:
Friday, April 5, 2013
Misconceptions of Light-skinned Girls
This time I wanted to talk about the misconceptions of light-skinned girls. The things I've heard about light-skinned girls are just as bad as what I've heard about dark-skinned girls. Except this time, it really hits home, because I feel as if it's my job to prove these misconceptions wrong, as a light-skinned girl. Here are some popular misconceptions about light-skinned girls.
Superiority
When I asked around about what came to mind when people thought of light-skinned people, one thing I kept hearing was how light-skinned girls thought they were superior to everyone, especially when it came to dark-skinned girls. I was angry when I heard this because not once have I ever walked about as if my sh*t didn't stink, but then I had to think about the people that do. There are people who feel superior and privileged because they have lighter skin. Beginning in the early 1900s, organizations such as the Blue Vein Society were created based on skin color. If you were light enough to the point where people could see your veins, you were allowed to join. This is an example of how some light-skinned people used their skin color to improve their status, but again, not ALL light-skinned people, especially light-skinned girls feel superior to their darker skinned sisters.
Sexual Objects
In the media today, you will see that the light-skinned girls in music videos are viewed as nothing more than sexual objects. They are seen as the main girl in the video who is dominated by the male artist. These types of scenes, partnered up with lyrics such as "I'm looking for a thick redbone", only add to the stereotypical light-skinned girl who is viewed as promiscuous and nothing more than an object. I talked more about light-skinned girls in the industry in my blog entry titled "The Music Industry".
Heartbreakers
This topic makes me the most upset because it has to do with how guys view the rest of us light-skinned girls. Usually when girl, particularly a light-skinned girl is pursued by a number of guys, she becomes 'big headed', and takes advantage of the situation. She essentially becomes a 'heartbreaker'. When this happens to a guy a few times, he begins to think that this is normal for a light-skinned girl, and will most likely label the rest of the light-skinned girls he meets based on his past experiences. One thing I can't stand, is being labeled and grouped together with a bunch of people that have nothing in common with me except for the fact that both of us are light-skinned. Their actions and motives have absolutely nothing to do with the rest of us light-skinned girls, so please understand that whatever one or two light-skinned girls may have done to you, has nothing to do with next one you meet. Not ALL of us should be labeled heartbreakers because of what someone else did.
Sexual Objects
In the media today, you will see that the light-skinned girls in music videos are viewed as nothing more than sexual objects. They are seen as the main girl in the video who is dominated by the male artist. These types of scenes, partnered up with lyrics such as "I'm looking for a thick redbone", only add to the stereotypical light-skinned girl who is viewed as promiscuous and nothing more than an object. I talked more about light-skinned girls in the industry in my blog entry titled "The Music Industry".
Heartbreakers
This topic makes me the most upset because it has to do with how guys view the rest of us light-skinned girls. Usually when girl, particularly a light-skinned girl is pursued by a number of guys, she becomes 'big headed', and takes advantage of the situation. She essentially becomes a 'heartbreaker'. When this happens to a guy a few times, he begins to think that this is normal for a light-skinned girl, and will most likely label the rest of the light-skinned girls he meets based on his past experiences. One thing I can't stand, is being labeled and grouped together with a bunch of people that have nothing in common with me except for the fact that both of us are light-skinned. Their actions and motives have absolutely nothing to do with the rest of us light-skinned girls, so please understand that whatever one or two light-skinned girls may have done to you, has nothing to do with next one you meet. Not ALL of us should be labeled heartbreakers because of what someone else did.
Friday, March 29, 2013
Kelly Rowland
Note: This blog entry was done a couple of weeks ago, but was accidentally republished, please excuse this mistake on my part. The new entry submitted today is titled "Misconceptions of Dark-skinned Girls".
I decided to take a time out, and acknowledge someone who was brave enough to talk about her issues regarding the color complex. Yes, even celebrities deal with this issue. Recently, Clutch Magazine interviewed Ms. Rowland at the 6th annual Black Essence in Hollywood. When asked if she had ever gone through any insecurities, and if so, how did she overcome them, she responded by admitting that she had, and that it had to do with the color complex in particular. These are her words,
"You know what I had great women in my life to help me overcome that. I remember I went through a period where I didn’t embrace my chocolatiness. I don’t know if that’s a word, but I didn’t embrace my chocolate lifestyle. Just being a chocolate, lovely brown skin girl and being proud of that. I remember being out in the sun and I was trying to shield myself from the sun and [Beyonce's mom Tina Knowles] said, ‘Are you crazy?’ She said ‘You are absolutely gorgeous’ and she just told me how beautiful I was and how rare chocolate is and how gorgeous the skin is, all of this stuff. And I was just like ‘Yeah!’ Like a light went off and so and my mother had me sitting out in the sun a little more, just to be a little more chocolate" (Courtesy of www.clutchmagonline.com).
You can read and view the rest of the interview here: http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2013/03/kelly-rowland-opens-up-about-learning-to-love-her-brown-skin/
I admire her for coming out, and talking so openly about her past. Most people (especially celebrities) like to play the "lying game", and deny that colorism is even an issue to begin with. This alone is a dead giveaway that they are the ones suffering the most. Most people get a clear understanding of what colorism is at a young age, they just don't know what it's called. I can't remember when I first learned, but I was fully aware of it by the time I got to middle school. It's not something that's talked about in school, but between the jokes, and name calling, it isn't too difficult to put the pieces together. If it weren't for outside sources, I don't think I would have ever learned in the first place, but I'm glad I did because now I can help other people. I will be doing more blog entries on the color complex and young children in the future, as well as entries talking about hair texture and the much talked about subject of "good hair" vs. "bad hair". In the meantime, kudos to you Kelly Rowland, I wish you continued success in the future.
I decided to take a time out, and acknowledge someone who was brave enough to talk about her issues regarding the color complex. Yes, even celebrities deal with this issue. Recently, Clutch Magazine interviewed Ms. Rowland at the 6th annual Black Essence in Hollywood. When asked if she had ever gone through any insecurities, and if so, how did she overcome them, she responded by admitting that she had, and that it had to do with the color complex in particular. These are her words,
"You know what I had great women in my life to help me overcome that. I remember I went through a period where I didn’t embrace my chocolatiness. I don’t know if that’s a word, but I didn’t embrace my chocolate lifestyle. Just being a chocolate, lovely brown skin girl and being proud of that. I remember being out in the sun and I was trying to shield myself from the sun and [Beyonce's mom Tina Knowles] said, ‘Are you crazy?’ She said ‘You are absolutely gorgeous’ and she just told me how beautiful I was and how rare chocolate is and how gorgeous the skin is, all of this stuff. And I was just like ‘Yeah!’ Like a light went off and so and my mother had me sitting out in the sun a little more, just to be a little more chocolate" (Courtesy of www.clutchmagonline.com).
You can read and view the rest of the interview here: http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2013/03/kelly-rowland-opens-up-about-learning-to-love-her-brown-skin/
I admire her for coming out, and talking so openly about her past. Most people (especially celebrities) like to play the "lying game", and deny that colorism is even an issue to begin with. This alone is a dead giveaway that they are the ones suffering the most. Most people get a clear understanding of what colorism is at a young age, they just don't know what it's called. I can't remember when I first learned, but I was fully aware of it by the time I got to middle school. It's not something that's talked about in school, but between the jokes, and name calling, it isn't too difficult to put the pieces together. If it weren't for outside sources, I don't think I would have ever learned in the first place, but I'm glad I did because now I can help other people. I will be doing more blog entries on the color complex and young children in the future, as well as entries talking about hair texture and the much talked about subject of "good hair" vs. "bad hair". In the meantime, kudos to you Kelly Rowland, I wish you continued success in the future.
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